Controlling Social Media Or Is It Controlling You?

When’s the last time you lost your smart phone, even for just a few minutes? Were you panicky, freaking out, wondering where you might have left it? I would guess that you’ve at least once been rabidly searching while you were talking on it? Yes, we've come to depend big-time on our technology for so many things.

Of course phones, the Internet, social media sites and entertainment are amazing. Unfortunately, there are spammers, relentless ads, political calls and annoying trivia that can arrive during all hours of the day and night.

But there’s increasing evidence that overuse of our screens in various formats by adults, teens and even young children is causing intellectual, social and emotional damage that can have serious personal and family-related consequences.

Evidence from a variety of empirical studies show that smartphone and social media use is adding to mental distress, harming oneself and even suicide among youth. Currently, the greatest impact is among girls.

One reliable source has shown that social media can affect adolescents’ self-esteem and interpersonal relationships, often leading to cyber-bullying, sleep deprivation, and negative academic performance and socio-emotional functioning. According to another source, social media has significant potential to harm the general mental health of children and adolescents, and can literally be associated with changes in the brain related to emotions and learning.

There is also correlation between social media use and common mental health concerns, one of the most evident being depression. Unfortunately,good things can also injure when not controlled or monitored. And these current statistics no longer live on the investigative fringe. Many have moved from healthy, fascinated users to addicts.

“The dangerous part of our social media and technologically saturated world is not its existence but what it distracts us from.” (Jen Hatmaker)  What are we not doing, experiencing and enjoying that our phones are keeping us from?

So I want to suggest a few items that we might think about adding or increasing to take away some of social media's magnetism. I've provided some specific ideas at the end of this article. But what might be a few general next steps? Here are some ABC's.

A - Be aware of what’s going on both at home and away. Who are our kids' friends, what happens when they're at others’ homes or in their own private space. We can monitor or even limit what they’re seeing, how long they’re on social media and who’s influencing them. Use parental blocks as necessary. Your kids may think you’re the worst parent in the world. So what? Tell them you’re being considered for Worst Parent of The Year and you can’t wait to get the prize.

B- Begin with yourself. Kids are sponges when it comes to influence, both good and bad. So honestly look at your phone usage, limiting it as well while substituting something better and different. And let me say as kindly as I can that we parents MUST be vigilant about saying NO to some of the evil, violent, perverted apps and games out there. We're playing with big-time fire if we don't.

C- Control and Communicate. Talk with your kids in a  clear, informed, kind way about what too much screen time can lead to. Then lay out a plan or plans for how you as a family are going to control the impact rather than have screen time control you. Be positive, but firm. The stakes are getting higher and higher.

D- Determine other options for NON-SCREEN time activity. You’ll have to decide what’s best and most appropriate for you and your family,  but it does help to have both individual and group ideas as options in your home. Here are a few possibilities and you can no doubt come up with more.

Regular volunteering in your church, community or city.

Do a non-school reading challenge together or alone.

Play a board, card or question game.

Watch an interesting TV series, documentary, concert, etc.

Find hobbies to work on individually or as a group.

Develop a side-business or hustle.

Plan a vacation trip, yes together

Include regular chores that in some cases can be done together.

Find other unique ideas. Check online at sites like MommyPoppins.com

So I hope I got you thinking and sensing some healthy concern. You can change your family’s growth trajectory and keep them from missing out on what social media can steal. But you’ll have to intentionally keep an eye on what's happening in your home. The good news? It can actually be fun. And as the experts say, as social media connections get less, happiness, fun and communication grow. That sounds like a pretty good investment to me. Start now.