From Tragedy To Hope

We rarely anticipate or plan tragedy. It often appears out of nowhere when we’ve had no opportunity to ready ourselves, loved ones or surroundings. It shocks, confuses, devastates and humbles, with most of those impacted longing for the events and their implications to be a dream. Then when we realize they aren’t just a nightmare, we wish for someone to tell us what to do.

And often they can’t give us what we long for in the moment.

On Saturday, July 26th, very early in the morning, Jackie and I boarded a flight to Seattle from Indianapolis to begin a worship music cruise to Alaska. Our 7:00am flight was smooth, relaxed and on time. The hotel staff that first night was very accommodating, keeping our luggage until there was a room available and seeing that we had breakfast before their service closed.

What we didn’t know until later that day was that just hours after our arrival, four family members of the Gospel award-winning family the Nelons, along with the pilot, his wife and an assistant, were killed in a private plane crash while on their way to sing during our cruise. We rarely anticipate or plan tragedy.

The Nelons certainly didn’t.

At a refueling stop, they filmed a short, informal video highlighting their excitement to be a part of the music in Alaska.Their other daughter and husband traveled separately. Like us, they too had arrived early in Seattle but didn’t know they had lost their immediate family. We rarely anticipate or plan tragedy.

The leadership team for the cruise, some of them close friends with the Nelons including Gospel legends Bill and Gloria Gaither, met with the surviving couple, listened, cried and prayed that God would give them some sort of peace and hope in spite their incredible loss.

At the same time, the story was spreading around the country, mentioned on major and local news outlets, the Internet and word of mouth. Though Jackie and I had heard the Nelons in several settings, we weren’t friends or acquaintances. In fact, we’d never met them. But we were sad thinking about what it might have been like were that our family or friends and talked to them in recent days.

Of course’ we also wondered what impact their loss and subsequent grief would have on the concerts and presentations during the cruise. Some Christians think they're never supposed to hurt outwardly, but rather just cover their loss, not deal with it and keep smiling. But even Jesus grieved so we can be assured that He understands. It would make sense if the leadership team’s hearts were broken and many of the songs of worship were about loss.

On the other hand, people didn’t come on the cruise to experience a wake the entire week. So the obvious question was, “Will these friends of the Nolan’s somehow embrace both hope and joy in the middle of their pain? If this conference/cruise is any indicator, they did just that. In fact, it quickly became clear that one very important theme was going to rise to the surface in every session and gathering.

Team members, without prodding or even a simple suggestion, would at some point in a song or introduction walk over to another team member nearby or across the stage and hug them. I can’t know all what was said, but a few times I could see that they mouthed the words, “I love you.” There were lots of tears, mine included.

And as the connections continued, I found myself thinking of people who needed to hear that or other encouragement from me as well.

In other words, the musicians and many of us in the audience were realizing more powerfully that we weren’t saying “words of life” to the people we care about the most nearly enough. In other words, we can’t plan or anticipate tragedy, so it’s wise to keep short accounts so that those we love will know without a doubt how much they mean to us now, not when it’s too late for what ever reason.

We also saw a helpful template of sorts for connecting. No one got up and told everyone to go find someone and tell them right then that they love and appreciate them. That’s manipulation. In fact, sharing deep feelings with others wasn’t even mentioned publicly.

It was more comparable to a Nike moment and people, “Just did it.” That’s inspiration.

You see, tragedy can be a catalyst to help us restore the main things as the main things in our lives. And it shouldn’t be a result of phony pressure to cause a certain result. Though passionate, our interactions need to be natural, sincere and timely.

I’m confident that the responses on the cruise to the Nolan tragedy were just that and became moments that we and the other attenders will probably remember the rest or our lives.

I know this. Songs will never quite be the same for me and many others from now on. Certain words and phrases in our minds are now highlighted in red and perhaps using capital letters that we want to shout out or at least emphasize. Lyrics we’ve sung many times took on new, richer, action-changing power that will likely stay with us like never before.

You see, we rarely anticipate or plan tragedy. But maybe we’ll see it a little differently and take the time to say the things now that we would have hoped were already said, whenever we or those we love leave this earth.

Who might need to hear an "I love you," or "You mean the world to me," or whatever else you want to share? Do it now or soon. And maybe you might add as we heard a few times this past week, "Because He lives, we can face tomorrow.”