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When Good Isn't So Good (And how to tell the difference)



 

Everybody loves Morgan. People say she’s amazing. She serves others, volunteers for project after project and does things on her own for people that others haven’t even thought of before.

 

She’s an active volunteer, ran for school board though she lost and did three wedding receptions for people she hardly knew and didn’t charge them a cent.

 

Mother Teresa would be proud of her, maybe jealous.

 

Andy is the poster child for quality bosses across America. Well, not really, but he should be. He leads dynamite meetings, gives regular promotions and bonuses, often has lunch with employees, is the life of the office party whatever the season and tells everyone they’re doing a great job.

 

Andy is so charismatic he should have been a game show host, but frankly working with him running the show is like a game show anyway. He also does charity work being especially proficient at fundraising for numerous social projects. When a project needs a cheerleader, Andy has the megaphone.

 

Those are two examples of people sacrificing themselves to do good, right? That could have been true, but Morgan and Andy have a condition I call Toxic Goodness. Yes, they do a lot of nice things, accomplish more than most, and appear to be all about dedication to Jesus, commitment to His church and helping others.

 

If you’re a student of the Bible, you know that a religious group in Jesus’ day called The Pharisees were like this. They were all about religious accomplishment to the point that they even prayed prayers that put themselves above others while thanking God that they were better.

 

 

But examples of modern-day service didn’t always have pure motives as well. Their high performance is laced with selfish motives and making themselves look good rather than doing good out of a pure, selfless heart. Their positive deeds are almost always tainted by a hidden, but powerful focus on self.

 

The Bible speaks of this through Jesus in Matthew 6:1.  “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.  Otherwise, you have no reward with your Father in heaven.”

 

And when faux goodness controls us, it can poison our families, ministry or general relationships once the  insincerity, deception and questionable results come to light.

 

In a nutshell, pretend do-gooders reel in others through their accomplishments. But over time their commitment and passion rarely deepen and others start to see through their ruse.  Their phoniness hurts them as well because it never achieves the fulfillment they hoped for deep inside.

 

Sadly, these individuals are often given priority ministry and leadership roles, praised publicly for their dedication and set up as wonderful examples of Christ following.

 

How do you tell the difference between a truly dedicated committed Christ follower and someone more on the pretend goodness spectrum? (And we can use this same list to help us spot our own tendencies to do the same.) And we know that no one is perfect, but the following characteristics that are predominant are major signs of goodness that isn’t what it appears to be.

 

For example:

 

1.    Someone talks far more about their own acts of caring and service than those of others.

 

2.    Someone continually highlights their busy schedule and list of  things they do for others. However,  it’s obviously exaggerated and frankly impossible for anyone to do at that level all the time.

 

3.    Someone regularly one-ups the accomplishments, successes and even ministry of others. Have you ever mentioned a community project, mission trip or church ministry you were a part of and the other person or someone in the group immediately mentions their “bigger and better” initiative?

 

When the deeds always seem to go back to the person rather than the people helped and God’s work in it, there’s a good chance their efforts are infected with pride.

 

Let’s face it we all want to be loved and to matter. And those are longings given to us by God, they’re built in to the fabric of our souls. Unfortunately, we’re still human and can think our longings can be fully met in doing things for God rather than caring for other because our relationship with Jesus leads us to.

 

Thankfully, Jesus is described in Acts as one who went about doing good. Acts 10:38. And that’s all He asks of us to do good with all our heart, soul and mind. Choose to live life every day, just be Jesus to everyone you meet and chances are your goodness will become a well-remembered example, long after you leave this life.

 

By the way, that’s called a legacy. Don’t leave a legacy, live one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everybody loves Morgan. People say she’s amazing. She serves others, volunteers for project after project and does things on her own for people that others haven’t even thought of before.

 

She’s an active volunteer, ran for school board though she lost and did three wedding receptions for people she hardly knew and didn’t charge them a cent.

 

Mother Teresa would be proud of her, maybe jealous.

 

Andy is the poster child for quality bosses across America. Well, not really, but he should be. He leads dynamite meetings, gives regular promotions and bonuses, often has lunch with employees, is the life of the office party whatever the season and tells everyone they’re doing a great job.

 

Andy is so charismatic he should have been a game show host, but frankly working with him running the show is like a game show anyway. He also does charity work being especially proficient at fundraising for numerous social projects. When a project needs a cheerleader, Andy has the megaphone.

 

Those are two examples of people sacrificing themselves to do good, right? That could have been true, but Morgan and Andy have a condition I call Toxic Goodness. Yes, they do a lot of nice things, accomplish more than most, and appear to be all about dedication to Jesus, commitment to His church and helping others.

 

If you’re a student of the Bible, you know that a religious group in Jesus’ day called The Pharisees were like this. They were all about religious accomplishment to the point that they even prayed prayers that put themselves above others while thanking God that they were better.

 

But examples of modern-day service didn’t always have pure motives as well. Their high performance is laced with selfish motives and making themselves look good rather than doing good out of a pure, selfless heart. Their positive deeds are almost always tainted by a hidden, but powerful focus on self.

 

The Bible speaks of this through Jesus in Matthew 6:1.  “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them.  Otherwise, you have no reward with your Father in heaven.”

 

And when faux goodness controls us, it can poison our families, ministry or general relationships once the  insincerity, deception and questionable results come to light.

 

In a nutshell, pretend do-gooders reel in others through their accomplishments. But over time their commitment and passion rarely deepen and others start to see through their ruse.  Their phoniness hurts them as well because it never achieves the fulfillment they hoped for deep inside.

 

Sadly, these individuals are often given priority ministry and leadership roles, praised publicly for their dedication and set up as wonderful examples of Christ following.

 

How do you tell the difference between a truly dedicated committed Christ follower and someone more on the pretend goodness spectrum? (And we can use this same list to help us spot our own tendencies to do the same.) And we know that no one is perfect, but the following characteristics that are predominant are major signs of goodness that isn’t what it appears to be.

 

For example:

 

1.    Someone talks far more about their own acts of caring and service than those of others.

 

2.    Someone continually highlights their busy schedule and list of  things they do for others. However,  it’s obviously exaggerated and frankly impossible for anyone to do at that level all the time.

 

3.    Someone regularly one-ups the accomplishments, successes and even ministry of others. Have you ever mentioned a community project, mission trip or church ministry you were a part of and the other person or someone in the group immediately mentions their “bigger and better” initiative?

 

When the deeds always seem to go back to the person rather than the people helped and God’s work in it, there’s a good chance their efforts are infected with pride.

 

Let’s face it we all want to be loved and to matter. And those are longings given to us by God, they’re built in to the fabric of our souls. Unfortunately, we’re still human and can think our longings can be fully met in doing things for God rather than caring for other because our relationship with Jesus leads us to.

 

Thankfully, Jesus is described in Acts as one who went about doing good. Acts 10:38. And that’s all He asks of us to do good with all our heart, soul and mind. Choose to live life every day, just be Jesus to everyone you meet and chances are your goodness will become a well-remembered example, long after you leave this life.

 

By the way, that’s called a legacy. Don’t leave a legacy, live one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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