When Intention Becomes Perception Gone Wrong.

I was in a strip mall parking lot the other day near a UPS store that we frequent from time to time. And while I wasn't going there that day, I couldn't help but notice their basic services listed vertically in fairly large block letters.

And the first two were: NOTARY SHREDDING. Wow, that looks like if you help people authenticate their legal documents, you probably don't want to send packages there. Of course they didn't mean that, right? Well, I hope so.

Lots of times things make it to print or are even said that totally miss the mark. A well-known pastor and speaker was to read a passage of Scripture before his home audience before the next element in the service. Unfortunately, he said the final line this way, "Let everything that has breast praise the Lord."

He tried to save it, couldn't and just walked off the stage as the audience howled in laughter. If only our misguided communications were just funny and not harmful. But words, written or said, have power. Power for good and the not so good.

Proverbs 18:21 says, "The tongue has the power of life and death." And I used to think that this probably didn't refer to actual life and death, but more in the emotional realm. And it certainly does that, but with the bullying and other social media attacks going on, yes it can mean physical.

Let me say it again, our words are powerful. HOW we say something, especially hard things, still has impact. Ephesians 4:15 talks about speaking the truth in love. Proverbs 15:4 says, "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life." Proverbs 16:24 says, "Pleasant words . . . are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

What can often get us off track when we communicate is our wrong assumptions. For example, we assume that our loved ones know how much we care, love them or take pride in what they do. So we may rarely ever say words that communicate those positives though we may feel that way. Intention is one thing, perception is everything.

Or we assume that speaking harshly and firmly to employees or others or remaining distant will just make them stronger, tougher and better able to handle similar situations down the road. But in most cases, the harshness hides any potential benefits from our genuine wisdom or prodding to be better. In fact, the negative emotion in our voice and words is probably all they hear.

Again, our first goal must be to speak the truth in love. Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." I'm would guess that most of us don't have golden apples on a silver tray but maybe today it would read, "A well-timed positive comment is like a relaxing fifteen minutes in a hot tub on a stressful day." Or fill in your own example. People are longing to hear from us. Not mushy, just genuinely meaning full that sometimes touch the soul.

There are people all around us this week who need to have a simple encouraging word, phrase, build up or appreciative comment that could change the trajectory of their week, month, even year. How about being one of the people who take the time to do that? Who needs to hear from you? A child, spouse, good friend, co-worker?

Although you might think twice if it's your notary.