When Our Life Picture Gets Broken

Yesterday, a good friend died way too early. A mission family faces an adult child moving a long way away. Other colleagues and fellow church attenders have a chronically ill spouse or their own major illness, someone I helped in the past is cleaning up from a major flood in their home all the while their adult child is an emotional mess.

I would guess that many of you reading this post have your own stories, some big, some not so bad. But it's likely that some would say your recent event or series of challenges have broken your "picture," so to speak, of how you thought life was going to go.

As a result, your picture frame and glass are cracked. Of course, as any of us would try to do, we attempt to fix the picture. And we should. Sometimes we're successful and what a relief that is. But many times pictures won't be fixed for a variety of reasons. People don't want to be changed. It's no longer possible because of events already completed.

Circumstances are such that the past has to be the past. There's no turning back. However, that's often when we get stuck, longing for the artwork we so hoped for, prayed for and even lived for and now it will never be a part of our life..

Yes, it's normal to grieve, be sad and disappointed that a dream has vanished. But we can move forward in a healthy, anticipatory way if we're willing to adopt a new perspective and understanding. We can embrace and be thankful for a new picture. It may have some missing parts, a new background, even a different frame so to speak.

But it can still be a beautiful piece of valuable, cherished life art that we eventually look at over and over with gratefulness and joy. How does that happen?

Well, first, we must grieve the old picture but eventually take it off the wall of our mind. Let it go but don't just throw it away. Instead be thankful for the time we enjoyed it.

Second, we need to draw a mental picture of what the new picture seems to look like and thank God for this new design that can have as much value as the last one, maybe more. Perhaps your picture changed for the most part because of a move, job change, physical limitation or whatever. You don't have to be stuck there.

Talk with people, pray, think, take some next steps to add color and interest to your new piece of artwork. You're in it. Welcome the new people, surroundings, opportunities or even hardships as though they matter and have significance. Use them for good, not despair. It will take time but it's doable.

Third, do something today to enhance your picture even more by connecting with new people, enjoying something in your new surroundings and doing one thing that is specifically you in that place. Confirm that this picture also matters to you, to God, to others.

You can find life, purpose and meaning again, perhaps more than you had before. You just need to hang that new picture on the wall of your "wall" and gaze at it everyday. And should the old painting pop into your mind now and then, remember it fondly. But don't hang it up, again just smile for a moment recalling what you enjoyed for whatever time you had.

Have you ever been going through old pictures and found yourself stunned by how much the quality of the new pics has improved. The same can be true in life. Enjoy the memory of the old, but embrace the potential improvement of the new. But you can't do that if you keep pulling old stuff out of your emotional basement.

Honor the past. Just don't hoard it.