5 Ways To (Maybe) Change Someone Else's Opinions

Wow. Has there ever been more disagreement in the world on everything from politics, social mores, faith, education, personal choices to family and perhaps most of all sports. Well, perhaps this is news to many, but yes there has. There's always been disagreement among people in most every culture.

But things are different today.

Many now feel so strongly about an issue or situation that they become obligated, downright mad and almost possessed to convince people to join their side of the argument. Whether in social media, on the street, before government leaders or actually attacking someone or their property, they are convinced that if people don't agree with them and change their opposing views that life as they knew it can't continue.

If that's you, how's that working for you? Or if you've merely seen it, how much healthy change has occurred as a result of today's yelling, screaming and one-sided talk shows devoid of discussion and real debate instead laced with F-bombs and truth-starved diatribes? Not much. Let me give you a theorem that I'm confident is almost always true: Happiness is a choice and our joy will never be sustained or increased based on what others do or don't do.

Disagreement isn't fatal. Hatred, genuine hatred, not just expressing opposing opinions often is. It at kills productive discussion and imprisons in the jail of rage, often to the point of insanity. How did this happen?

We've lost, let slide or even instigated practices and supposed "freedoms" that must be reversed if our difference will every lead to making life in the greatest country in the world all that it's been and better.

Change 1: We need to be willing to first MODEL what we believe instead of trying to MAKE others agree. So many of the raging voices make claims, shout solutions and demand outcomes they would never champion themselves. They for examples, criticize the wealthy and demand they give more when they're part of the club.

Or they think the homeless need more help, but provide no solutions or cooperation with others to make things better. They speak and even riot against providing safety and following the law, but they live themselves with security details and guns.

Change 2. KNOW the FACTS on all the sides, over time, before making foolish, untrue statements, soon proven wrong. So much of what is suggested online or talk shows has little basis in the truth. Discussion is more about, "I think," "we all know that . . . " and "I'm sure that," rather than presenting foundational, basic truth both documented and fact-checked. And remember, almost everything is on video or audio-recorded these days. If you don't know, check out the evidence first.

On a related note, all sides need to quit cherry-picking one phrase, one action, taken out of context to lead to then offer a blanket statement about the person who said or did something.

Change 3. People need to be graciously, but firmly asked to give proof or at least examples of their often exaggerated or even overtly false claims. "Could you give one proven specific that illustrates your position?"

Change 4. Provide a forum or setting where there can be open discussion in a safe place. It could be a regular neighborhood gathering, a class at a church or other faith location or even an online chatroom. People are often more open when they can be at a distance and somewhat anonymous.

Change 5. Always model respect, listening and ongoing relationship as keys to discussions and finding common ground. Those who have a self-only agenda and natural disregard for variant views aren't going to change.